Gentle and Quiet--Feminine or Christ-like?

1 Peter 3:4 “[Your beauty] should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

This verse is addressed to women. Over the years, this gentle and quiet spirit has become quite a horror to women, because culturally it has come to mean allowing men any and every kind of domination and oppression. Throughout our history it’s come to mean women can’t speak, can’t do, can’t protest, can’t hardly exist except as a pretty backdrop for the affairs or men. But that’s not at all what it meant! I don’t think Peter was talking about women’s roles but about their attitude, nor do I think Peter is necessarily trying to make any comparison or contrast between the attitudes of men and women; he’s just recognizing that women have a tendency to come to faith in Christ before men and that having a Christ-like attitude will be the greatest witness to their unbelieving husbands. It’s still true. One thing no one ever notices was that it was Jesus’ attitude here on Earth, that of God Himself, an attitude it would be an honor to bear.

And as I examine the words gentle and quiet and their many meanings, I realize that it’s an attitude very attractive to me. The words have come to mean weakness—gentleness as opposed to strength, meekness as opposed to character and will power, but in actuality, they work right along with strength. Gentle: praeos—gentle, kind, considerate, meek, without harshness in interactions with others. Apply it to Christ: He’s the Creator of the universe, and yet He encourages people to come to Him because He is praus—He has chosen not to be harsh with us, though we deserve it. Think of the immense power under immense control implied here! Quiet: Haysuchias—as possessing inward calm, quiet tranquil, peaceful, at rest. Isn’t that what many people want? Not to be gagged, as they have often used this verse to gag women, but to be at rest. Don’t so many people long for rest and peace within themselves? To have a quiet and calm heart—to not have to fight and rage and fear and flee. What an attractive prospect! It doesn’t mean such a person can’t be loud and happy and boisterous—maybe with certain personalities it would make such a person even louder in sheer joy. Though I personally prefer the quieter aspects of this quietness of spirit. I love the prospect of tranquil calm and dignity against all odds. Far from being demeaned or kept down by it, I would like to be a woman with this kind of spirit.